i wrote about you

I know I loved you because I wrote about you.

You once told me your ways to be creative

but I couldn’t follow your ways.

I filled a whole notebook just with the pain you caused.

 

It’s the kind of sadness that you think wont go away

but it will after a few drinks and a few sleepless nights.

And I thought about you today; it broke my heart

but what broke my heart wasn’t you

it was the idea that I let you make me feel that bad.

Maybe it’s because I’ve finally grown the fuck up

maybe it’s because I let the pain go away

or maybe it’s because I still care about you

but my worth souldn’t be held in someone else’s hands

and I learned that a few months ago.

I’m sorry to my heart for breaking it wanting you

and it’s in moments like this one

when I start to think

“is there anything I do that doesnt push people away?”

but I need a few more drinks to talk about that

so I’ll leave it one for another day.

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